The Laziest Scams in Internet History

 

A certain “Sehwan Jung” in South Korea has been sending a number of desperate requests for funds over Twitter: “I am in urgent need of money.Can you lend me 500,000 dollars?I will make it up to you later.” A diabolical plot, indeed, though Mr. Jung’s scam is unlikely to work. For one, people can see everything someone sends on Twitter and quickly realize he’s sent the exact same message over and over. For another, he is tweeting almost exclusively to celebrities, including Channing Tatum, Rosario Dawson, Carly Simon, journalist Nicholas Kristof (who today sarcastically answered, “Sure!”), and the foreign minister of Bahrain, Sheikh Khalid bin Ahmed Al Khalifa.

“Now this one is a real winner,” says Dan Ring, a spokesperson for Boston-based data protection company Sophos. “Sehwan Jung’s list of celebrities is almost as entertaining and as random as his actual request, and it’s one of the more optimistic requests out there. I hope there’s no way someone will fall for this.”

The “Sehwan gambit” joins the following examples as one of the laziest scams in Internet history.

• “JOHN” fails to mention what he even wants to con you out of:
Subject: what are you sale
Greetings,My name is JOHN, i am highly interested in buying your{ what you want to sale } from you ,I will like you to give me the FINAL ASKING price and the lastes condition,also i will like you to scan the pics for me for proper verifycation.

• This scammer doesn’t even attempt to establish a personal connection before offering $18 million:
Beloved,
I am Elizabeth Etters, a Christian.I picked your email randomly for an inheritance of $18M. Please contact me for more details via [redacted].

• One malware attack came in the form of a bogus Christmas card—sent on March 19:
Date: 2010-03-19 09:27:15
“You have just received a Christmas greeting card! To see your custom card and who sent it, please check the attachment.”

• In this excerpt, one “Professor Farnsworth” selects you to survive a man-made black hole:
“… The truth is that this experiment that CERN are conducting is extremely dangerous, and could cause global disaster. This experiment has a 95% of causing a black hole, thus swallowing a large area of the planet. The scientists do not want you to know this as they know it will cause panic. However, I can help you.
I am arranging for a number of selected people to be evacuated to a safe location on an island in the South Pacific via aeroplane. You have been selected from random to take part in this evacuation, thus continuing the survival of the human race …”

• African prince scams are so tired. This reward is allegedly offered by England’s royal family:
250,000.00 Pounds has been awarded to you From the Queen Elizabeth’s Foundation ,send us your:-
Names___
Address___
Tel____
Country__